Body Image and Self-Love

I had an interesting encounter yesterday. I had put forth the effort to put myself together for the day. I had put on my makeup, even had a little bit of blush and gloss on. I went to class and the girl that sat next to me turned to me and said "Wow! Your makeup is always so beautiful...mine always sucks!" My heart just sank. Firstly, if you actually found the motivation to put a fair amount of makeup on, props to you. What she said made me think though about self-love. Why is it that we don't just love ourselves? Why can't we just see that we are awesome? Contrary to what we are shown in the media, by society and by our own insecurities, looks are not everything. So what if you're freckles cover your whole face? So what if you've got a double chin? So what if you don't look the way you did in high school or college?

Lets just take a minute and look at our selves in the mirror. Seriously, go find a mirror and look in it. What do you see? While you think about it, let me tell you what I see. When I look at my face I see acne, moles, facial hair that I can't get rid of and red splotches. I see a short girl who's overweight, has a flat butt, is top heavy and has a very round belly covered by stretch marks. You know what else I see? I also see battle scars that I got from my skin trying to contain pure awesomeness. I see big brown eyes that can see when others need help. I see a smile that is bright. I see uniqueness. I see Me. No one is perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. The only one who has the unrealistic expectations of yourself is YOU. No matter what stage of life you're in, we all feel insecure about ourselves. We all have times when we wish we could change something about ourselves. I'm gonna tell you something though...ready? IT'S OKAY!!

I'm gonna direct these next few comments to the mothers reading this. Moms, if you don't love yourself how can you expect your kids to love themselves? If you are constantly trying to cover yourself up, fix this and fix that, whether you do it out loud or in private, your children will notice. Kids aren't dumb.  If you want your children to be confident and accepting of themselves you need to show them what that looks like. Let your kids see you without makeup on. Let them see you in your PJ's with messy hair. Let them see you on the days when you aren't at 100% (which if your not Barbie, is everyday). If you show them that you can love yourself through every up and down of life, they will learn to do the same thing. Don't just tell your girls how pretty they look or your boys how strong they are or handsome, but tell them how smart they are, how kind they are, how funny they are. Show them and tell them that they have more to offer this world than just looking nice. I'm sorry, but looking nice and being attractive really never changed the world.

Now, this goes for everyone. We all do this either out loud or in our head. If you have a bad thought about someones appearance, keep your mouth shut and put it out of your mind. It's not going to make you feel any better about yourself. You can't say "at least I'm (whatever) than her/him," and feel good about yourself. It will eat away at your spirit. You may be physically attractive but your insides are nasty looking. Think about that before you say something. Before I say something about someone else I think about how it would look if I had to wear it on the outside. If I would be embarrassed to wear something that I said to or about someone or myself, then I probably shouldn't be saying it.

Here is a challenge for you readers this week. Everyday find something that you like about yourself. Write it down. Give a random stranger a complement everyday. It will make their day. Cut yourself some slack. Spend some quality time with yourself and people who lift you up. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder. You're doing better than you think you are.