My Love Hate Relationship with Food

Today I'm thinking about food. Today I went into work at 8:30, totally ready to conquer the day. By 9:30 I was in desperate need of a snack, by 11 I was feeling like I might die of hunger, and by 3:30 when I was finally able to eat lunch I was having hallucinations about Costa Vida and a smothered Sweet Pork Burrito. This is the average day for me. Two days out of the week (the days that I have school) I get to snack and be healthy. The other five days of the week I'm too busy to eat when I should. In my previous posts I've talked a little bit about being on a treatment plan for my PCOS. Right now I'm taking Metformin.  This is a medication to help with Insulin levels. Usually this is something that would be used for a diabetic, but in my case I am in need of it. See, my body has become Insulin resistant. Just a quick break down for those of you who are wondering what that means, normally food is absorbed into the bloodstream in the form of sugars as glucose and other basic substances. The increase in sugar in the bloodstream signal the pancreas to increase the secretion of insulin. This attaches to cells, removing sugar from the bloodstream so that it can be used for energy. So that means for someone who is insulin resistant, that their cells have a diminished

ability to respond to the action of the insulin. To make up for this the pancreas secretes more insulin. So, my body doesn't use my food for energy. Instead it stores it as fat. I never realized how absolutely out of control my eating was until I started taking the Metformin. Before I couldn't tell when my body needed to eat until I was absolutely famished. Now I can feel that I need to eat, not because I'm hungry, but because I need to eat for energy. It's amazing! On the days that I do eat well, I feel great, I can make better food choices, and I don't get hangry, (yes, I get very, very hangry). On the days that I don't get to eat, I'm so tired, I am mad, I can't focus, I can feel my blood sugar dropping, and I crave. I CRAVE sugar. I honestly lose my ability to choose good food. I can't because I can only think about how badly I need to eat, so I eat whatever is in front of me. I remember one time at a family function my Father-in-law (Kyle I love you) making a comment about how I was eating so much cake. I am known in my house as the ice cream monger. I will finish off a half gallon of ice cream in one day and not blink an eye (although to be nice to my husband I generally try to make it last two). I've stopped buying ice cream altogether because I can't stop myself. I've been trying really hard to eat better, but it's so hard! By the time I get to eat most days I just need something. I don't care what that something is, or where it came from, but I know I need it or I will lose my cherub like demeanor. I've been reading the word of wisdom almost daily. I've been trying to follow it closer. The diet is so important. We know when we eat good food, we feel happy, and when we don't, we feel bad. Its just how our bodies work. I'm not saying that we should never have that pie, or peach cobbler, or ice cream, but moderation is a must. Some of the changes that I've felt over the last few months from my medications has shown me the power of the human body, but also what a delicate machine it really is. Its must be lubricated and cleaned, and we must be careful not to overheat it. Here's a challenge for you guys this week. Forgo the soda. Pass on that dessert. Instead of a sandwich, go for a salad. Try with me to make healthy food choices this week. I'd love to hear how you guys do! Until next week!