Remembering our Angel

Today started out just as any other June morning.

The birds were chirping, the sun shining...truly this morning was exquisite. I lay in bed just waking up and then it hit me. Today is June 9, 2015. Today is our Angel Baby's estimated due date. The weight of my emotions collapsed on my chest and made it nearly impossible for me to breath. Part of me wanted to pull the covers back over my head and just let the day pass me by. Of course I knew I couldn't. There's things to do. Today is a day much like any other, but it is also a day that I will never forget. Every year it will pass me by, and there will be a little empty place in my heart.

How quickly nine months comes and goes without us even noticing. I don't really know what to write. I don't have the words to adequately express myself. Somehow, loosing a child makes the colors and sounds around you dull and unappealing. Everything seems to speed forward and leave you behind. I feel a sense of absence, along with a sense of hope. Even though today is going to be full of sadness for me and Joshua, I know that things will get better. Tomorrow I begin some new medication that should help. We are both holding out hope that we will be able to have another baby soon.

To any of you who have lost a child or are still struggling with Infertility, you are in my thoughts and prayers today. I hope that you all will find hope, joy and comfort. Today I find comfort in the Atonement of Christ. I find comfort in the fact that I will have my child restored to me one day. All of our losses will be made up. "...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)