Hi guys! Today I am going to touch on how I'm doing. Many of you have asked how my treatment has been going and how the lifestyle changes are going. Well, things are happening, slowly, but surly. One of the struggles with PCOS is cravings. For me, because my body is resistant to insulin, my body doesn't use the food I eat for energy. This makes me crave sugar and carbs more. I need that spike for energy, but I can't sustain it. This is part of the reason that I take an insulin medication. This last week I was feeling particularly helpless. As I've tried doing my own research on how I should be eating to stabilize my blood sugar levels, I have found so many different opinions. Some say gluten free, others say no carbs, others say no dairy. I find that ridiculous. My doctor suggested that I talk to a nutritionist because she wasn't quite sure what to change as far as diet. I was looking in my cupboards and fridge and wondering what the heck I've been doing wrong. I don't feel that I eat any worse than the rest of you, and my medication has helped with the cravings and feeling when I need to eat.
I was blessed the other night to be giving a ride to a sister in our ward. She asked how long we had been married and other things. Soon she was asking about kids. So I proceeded to explain that I have an endocrine disorder. She asked what, so I told her. Turns out she is a nutritionist, not licensed, but she only has a few semesters left. So we began discussing some of my symptoms and she offered to help me. It is now day two, and I'm feeling pretty good. She's given me some tools to help me make better food choices. While I still have those cravings, I am willing myself to control them. I don't think it's necessarily bad to have sugar or carbs. I personally love bread, but because my body has special needs, balance is of utmost importance. Balance is important for anyone. In this world of processed foods, balance can be hard to achieve for anyone. As much as I want to eat that ice cream or that toast with cinnamon sugar on it, I want more to be around for my children. I want to be able to feel like I have control over my body. I want to have a strong body; not a fit body, skinny body...just healthy.
I recently read a talk by James E. Faust talking about the power of self-mastery. While this talk is aimed at the priesthood brethren, I found it inspiring. I know that it will be a struggle to change my habits. It will take a lot of work and dedication to change my body, but I also know that it is possible. To keep me inspired, I have been writing quotes on the mirror in our bathroom. This way I can see something inspirational every day. The one that I have had up there for the last few weeks has truly touched me. The poem Invictus by William Earnest Henley has been an anthem for me. As I finish getting ready for the day, I read it out loud. William Earnest Henley also had many physical limitations. He was crippled when he penned this. Perhaps thats why I find it so inspiring. "Invictus" is latin for "unconquered". I hope that this is helpful for any of you who are having a hard day, week, month, or even year. Remember that God made us resilient. He built us so that we could withstand the trials that we are given.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
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